FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
From the Field to the Bookshelf: Coach Ron Alvey Unveils His Debut Work
Irving, Texas – March 23, 2026
Ever wondered what it’s like to manage a room full of hormonal seventh graders while trying to teach them football, hygiene, and life skills all at once? Coach Ron Alvey, middle school PE teacher, lifelong coach, and self-proclaimed “highly underpaid 1%er,” has captured it all in his debut book, Have You Ever Issued a 7th Grader Football Pads?
This “seriously funny” collection of 104–133 pages is a chaotic, laugh-out-loud journey through the absurd realities of coaching young athletes. With a mix of sharp humor, unfiltered observations, and real-life locker room chaos, Alvey delivers stories that are both relatable and ridiculously entertaining.
“This isn’t a book for sitting quietly in a library,” says Alvey. “It’s for parents, teachers, and anyone who has survived middle school. Read it on the throne, at the beach, or anywhere you need a five-minute escape from reality.”
From the smell of the locker room to the challenges of teaching coordination to preteens, every page is packed with moments that will make you laugh, cringe, and nod in recognition. Fans of witty, irreverent humor and anyone with experience wrangling middle schoolers will find themselves hooked.
Have You Ever Issued a 7th Grader Football Pads? is now available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and all major online retailers.
About Ron Alvey
Ron Alvey has spent decades in the trenches of public education as a middle school coach and PE teacher, earning him the title of “least underpaid 1%er” in America. When he’s not running for President on a platform of love, equality, and taxing billionaires, he’s running laps with kids who forgot their gym shorts. A proud member of Unity Church of Dallas, Ron believes in laughter, inclusion, and the undeniable fact that seventh graders are absolutely unhinged. This is his first book, written entirely from the bathroom. Follow his journey to the White House—or at least to a bookseller near you.